.....beginnings.....

It has been a bittersweet day today!....Have been trying to put my finger on what and why I've got so many mixed emotions and realize that while we always hope a new year begins well, this new year has begun with life pushing itself forward, life happening all around me.  One of the additional benefits of adoption is that you become part of an extended family of other families who also have adopted. This can be both wonderful and difficult. Sometimes knowing more people means you know more about more lives, and again that can be great, but it can also be challenging. In the past few days, both in my immediate family and my adoption family there have been great announcements like pregnancies, and new adoptions, but also bad news like deaths, illness and problems.

While I did go back to work on Wednesday, I am teaching another course this term so it feels like the holiday is really coming to an end today, so that might be why there are so many sad emotions.  While I would like to say I feel refreshed, with being sick, that didn't happen, though the antibiotics sure did help.  Matteo is wonderful, growing and so full of humour and life. It is hard to be down when I'm around him...but new years always bring much reflection. This is the year we are hoping to grow our family and are looking forward to seeing if life's mysteries will bring that our way.  I continue to be prepared (I think) for either direction (for many reasons beyond my control).  So I know that has been on my mind and in my heart, even if I haven't talked about it much.

I think; however, what is getting me down the most is really D's news yesterday.  No matter what, I just can't get my head around getting bad news on a holiday.  With the heightened emotions, it makes it so so difficult.  D for us is family member.  She brought Matteo and me together and for that there will never be enough thanks.  She has been pivotal in helping many children find families and helping many individuals create families.  I know it is because of her contacts and her relationship with Vietnam that it has been possible for her to do this important work. She is an extraordinary woman to persevere through all the issues and difficulties of International Adoption and try to help individuals who might not always appreciate the challenges of her work...I include myself here.   So for now there are so many praying for her and sending all the positive energy we can muster as she deals with this health issue.

When I got and read her message, it took my breath away, like someone just punched me in the stomach.  While I am worried for her, I too am worried for all the children that are waiting for her help in finding them families. She is such an important part of this work, that I know things will have to be set aside while she uses all of her energy for her health. None of us would want it any other way. But again, life sure has a way of moving forward and moving in unexpected directions.

Dear D. Matteo and I are sending you all of our love and any strength we can to help you deal with this next challenge sent your way. Like your perseverance and strength used in your adoption work, we pray you will use those strengths to take care of yourself. I know you are surrounded by a loving family and an extended loving family in the adoption community!