….well, where to begin. First of all this week started with the anniversary of my mother's death on Monday and that sadness continued through the week. Considering that I had named Malio after my mother the news with this timing, is doubly sad.
On Tuesday I got a call from my agency with two pieces of news. The first was that the update had been processed; however the second, took my breath away and is still causing confusion and heartbreak.
I received a recent medical on Malio and unfortunately and sadly there was a negative change to his health. The issue results are that his health involves more than a minor correctible special need. After consulting with the doctor at an American clinic and clarification from the doctor in Vietnam, I have had to accept that I could not go forward with his adoption. The best interests for Malio are for him to have a family who is able to have the time to help him access all the medical support he will need. As a single parent that would pose difficult challenges to us. So with a heavy heart; however, with the best interests of Malio at heart, we are beginning the process of saying goodbye and grieving his loss. We are also continuing to pray that he finds the family that he is meant to be with.
For now, we cry and grieve, and try to say goodbye to a little boy who was already in our hearts and in our life in a way this is hard to explain.
Good bye K, I'm so sorry and pray that God carries you gently into the hearts and arms of a special family who can care for you the way you need and deserve.
We will always love you, and will always miss and continue to pray for only the best for you. Thank you for having allowed us to be your family for even this short time.
Oh Francesca, my heart aches for you. I just want to wrap my arms around and give you a great big hug, not that that would do much to ease your pain, but it might be some comfort. With my losses in the adoption process, although early on in the process, I have some idea of the pain you are experiencing. You are so very right in that this loss is hard to explain. Losing R was very difficult and then losing N was beyond explanation. Somebody close to me dared to say, "Well, you didn't even know her!" All I could do was walk away! This person has no idea of how these children grow in our hearts. I am not as religious or spiritual as I should be, but may you and Matteo find a love and comfort in God and that he brings a little one in need of a very special mamma and big brother into your hearts and arms. Thinking of you lots and lots, especially on this Thanksgiving weekend.
ReplyDeleteThank you Elizabeth. Yes it is hard; however, we are on the road to accepting this now. I hope you are doing well with everything going on in your life!
DeleteFrancesca, so sorry to see this news. I sent you a message on Facebook. We faced a similar decision earlier this year and I know how difficult this is. You have had a loss and will need to grieve it even though it was the right decision. I will be thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteThank you Joanne!
DeleteTears well up in my eyes as I read this heartbreaking news, Francesca. I know that in your heart he was already yours. I will pray for Malio to find his forever family and for you to find healing.
ReplyDeleteThank you Tammi, definitely not the news we were expecting; though we are trying to move forward regardless.
DeleteI am so sorry to hear this! :(
ReplyDeleteThanks Meg!
Delete