The importance of language...

Had a very frustrating experience at Service Canada today.  I went to Service Ontario first of all to request a new health card in Matteo's new name. No difficulty there...while I brought my adoption documents, all she wanted was the legal name change certificate and a piece of ID from me. At Service Canada, in the same building, my request for a new SIN number was more complicated. She wanted my own SIN and/or piece of ID....and then she wanted my mother's maiden name? and then she had me fill out this form and she kept saying that the form needed information on Matteo's birth mother.  I told her I don't have that information and then she said it was my birth mother she wanted? So I started to add my mother's name, not being sure why..and then she interrupted me and then tried to explain again, always saying birth mother..and finally just "you're his mother"....in the end, what she wanted was my information as Matteo's mother, though she didn't know enough to say she wanted the adopted mother's information, and kept saying birth mother.  I'm still not sure if this was a language problem, as in she was French and she did not have the English vocabulary to say adopted mother, or she just wasn't sure what to call me in the proper adoption language. But it was frustrating and maddening to have to repeat to her a few times, I do not have my son's birth family information as he is adopted.  I left somehow feeling that my mine and Matteo's privacy were somehow invaded...as of course people waiting behind us could hear the conversation.  It spoiled the next couple of hours of my afternoon as I fumed about such an awful experience and then getting very angry that I could not have gotten Matteo's name changed through the adoption.  I somehow feel that the paperwork for the adoption is not yet over as I go through these next hurdles for new documentation...

1. New Health card - 30 days
2. New SIN card - 10 days
3. New Passport - 10 days if done in person (which I will) (whole new passport/photos/fees)
4. New Citizenship card - 10 months plus (new photos etc.)
5. Registering at Revenue Canada the name change - 6-8 weeks.
6. RESP name change...

Have I forgotten anything?......so frustrating!!!

....the paperwork continues....

Happy 20 month birthday Matteo!

Decided to change this to a 20 month post. Today Matteo got another vaccine and he was weighed. He is now 25 lbs and is definitely a bit taller. They forgot to measure him, but he was in excellent spirits.  For now I still want to record the words he knows....my list keeps growing as he reminds me daily of other words he knows and uses.
At this point Matteo's new words continue to blossom and I wanted to try to record them here so I don't forget them....

1. Mama
2. mammie 

3, Bowh - Bao

4, Choo Choo - Thomas the train and/or any train

5. mehmo - Elmo

6. mor - more (can sign this too)

7. bir - bird (can sign for bird too) can sign for help me, but doesn't say the word.

8. bubo - bubble
9. bubu- baloon

10. too  - 2

11. no - no

12. bapo - apple

13. nana - Mana (nickname for my niece Madeline)

14. caku - cracker

15. car

16. poon - spoon/fork

17. giu - juice

18. baba - Rosalba (my sister)

19. bable - milk bottle

20. bol - bowl

21. shu - shoe

22. bawl - ball

23. cat- cat

24. doh - dog

25. Bebi - baby

26. T and T - Tand T Asian foods store

27. Rabu -Robert
28. Knamo - Adamo
29. stee - Steve

30. gack gack - quack quack

31. pata - pasta

32. hi - hi
33. curl - squirrel
34. moo - cow
35. woh woh - yoyo
36. aharr - lion/ tiger
37. go
38. Baba - Peanut butter/butter
39. cauk - clock/watch
40. sno - snow
41. ko - cold
42. bok - block
43. tee - teeth
44. muk - milk
45. pee - peas
46. caphe - coffee
47. dan-tawn - downtown
48. kookey - cookie
49. kees - keys
50. bahbah - banana
51. tarr - star
52. bahtin - button
53. turtu - turtle
54. lea - leaf
55. gon - gone

Name change official

Today I received the certificate in the mail letting me know that as of January 20, 2012, Matteo's name has been officially changed and he now legally has my last name too.  On December 29, I received the original documents I sent and as noted in my blog here, I did not get any new translations but they accepted the translations with attached affidavits, that were done in Viet nam!!  A happy day. It brought a tear to my eye!

New beginnings...Chuc Mung Nam Moi! (Happy New Year!)

Who knew that the new year would start off with so many new changes...and then again, many things remain the same. Have been trying to update the blog for awhile now but seems like the time is flying and January is almost over.

Just a few days before Christmas I got a message from the president of an eLearning company that I was in touch with earlier in the year.  We discussed my new job and with the first week in January, like that, I was on the path of a new career. While it is still in the field of education, my role will be that of an instructional designer, so no direct teaching. I have been wanting to move out of teaching for a while....no need to go into the reasons why.... They have many government contracts and the best best part of it, is that they are very family friendly, most of us have children. We all work from our homes. Our meetings are virtual, though I do have client meetings...had my first one this week.  Anyhow the hours are flexible...which means I can choose my hours, of course as long as I get my work done. It also means that when Matteo is in school, I'll be able to walk him there and be here for him when he returns. A stay at home mom of sorts, with a great career. At the moment I am only working about 20-25 hours a week with one client though that will change in the future.  I still have some work from other jobs that I am trying to top off and they're aware of this.  They have been so supportive and can't believe our turn in fortune. I am trying to do a great job so that it all continues to work out. We are trying each other out for 4 months and then will re-negotiate the terms of my employment...so praying it falls into place.  It feels really right.  Even a few months back when I sent off my CV, I got a call within an hour, and an interview at my kitchen table the next day.  At that point I was still on parental leave and teaching, so could not make a move though we said we would keep in touch and continue to talk...and the timing came through.  It has been hectic though as the same week I started the job, my new student tenant arrived from Zambia. She is doing well and settling in, though it was a challenging few weeks of juggling everything.

   As for Matteo and daycare. I am still in the process of looking for a full-time space and praying that it opens up at my cousins. This is where Matteo went in December and while the first day was very hard and he cried and whimpered for most of it...by the third day he was a happy camper, reaching for my cousin and even making a couple of new friends, one in my cousin's 12 year old son and another in a little 4 year old who she also cares for. Right now Matteo is still at my cousins for 3 days a week, which is all she can fit in. She has flexible work weeks with parents who don't use her full time. Some have children in school half a day, in the a.m. or p.m...some only come after school...so her home is very warm with various age groups. Matteo is the youngest in the days that he is there. She has no space to fit us in more than she has  but Matteo is thriving with her and sometimes doesn't want to leave. So we have 4 days together and then daycare for 3. The first day he cries a little but quickly gets into the rhythm. He is learning new words and I think the older children are helping with that. My cousin is great with children and she knows how to appeal to Matteo's sense of humor.  While it is about a 13 minute drive, it is well worth it.  However if she doesn't have a spot and I'm needing to work more hours, we will deal with it at the time, and I am still looking, and praying that my cousin is able to squeeze us in two more days....though my employer continues to suggest that once I get into the rhythm, I can work in the evenings and have more time with my son during the days, and only have him in daycare part-time....that is what I'm trying for.

  Anyhow the other news that is also pretty major  that also landed on my plate now is my second adoption, a sibling for Matteo. I registered for this in February of 2010 as I was awaiting my referral for Matteo.  Have tried not to think about it too much as both it was so far away but also because I wasn't sure I wanted to get back on that waiting wheel again...but was told this week that they are ready for my updated home study whenever I am ready to submit. I have decided to adopt a special needs child, if it is meant to be, which also brings me back to the very beginning of my adoption journey where I thought I was going to adopt an older child through the local CAS...and then special needs to China, and then switched to Vietnam...so now still with Vietnam but special needs.... Have had a few discussions on this with my social worker but nothing firm yet and still too early to decide but will need to discuss this, though I am considering an older child.  It apparently is not a rule that you can't adopt outside of birth order but  like anything have to show that I am aware of the challenges...would still like to not, so we'll see what our options are. I think more and more and especially after seeing Matteo with the other children at my cousins, I feel he is ready to have a sister or brother...though again no timelines are being given to me, only that the special needs program is much more fluid.

  And getting this new job is just the right timing, though I might have to wait until April or May when I have a more permanent contract.  I'll see what my social worker says on that one....and of course need to sort out the finances too....so am trying to trust just as so many things are falling into place, that if this is meant to be, if it is God's will that we open our lives and hearts to another child to love, then it will happen.  I think if I think of the awful wait and the anxiety of the wait, I don't want to do this, but when I think of Matteo growing up without a sibling, then that is pushing me forward. So happy new year to us, lots of new doors opening, have had to close a few to the past, but that is life, live and learn. Life pushes us forward even when we think we're not ready. But that is life isn't it, a big fat risk and a wonderful roller coaster ride, with all kinds of emotions, both good and bad. That is, if you choose to trust in it and make new decisions and new choices and allow change to happen and bring you to places you never imagined.

Happy New Year to all of us.  Chuc Mung Nam Moi! (Happy New Year!)   

...and speaking of new year...Matteo and I went to the Vietnamese Ambassador's reception at our Arts Centre...it was nice but not child friendly....see some photos below of Matteo in his first vest and tie..he looked so cute (as well as some snow photos) ..we were hoping to meet the Ambassador but it was not to be.  Anyhow I am considering organizing with my agency's blessing, and maybe the embassy too,  a child friendly event to celebrate Tet for next year...probably something small to start, and a fund raiser for a water buffalo perhaps....if I can't do it officially may still do it as a fund raiser..but for friends and family...something to think about...for now have received some tips for where to get the traditional  Banh Chung and it is right in our neighbourhood....so that is our plan for the weekend!!

Happy New Year!!!!