Going with the flow.....

Well Christmas came and went this year and we managed to celebrate as much as we could though it did not go as planned....I am still sick...a very bad cough, that is better but is still lingering.... Lots of snow that has interfered with some plans even as it makes things festive.  Matteo's gifts were low key though one is still to be delivered...thematically this was an arts Christmas....a painting easel which never got put together when I got sick the week before Christmas.....it is up in my studio so hopefully at some point Matteo and I will be upstairs doing some artwork together...which was the plan but so little energy these days.....

...Anyhow we never managed to make it to our Church to take a look at the Nativity...which I really wanted to do....I'll have to see if I have energy to get there on the weekend....trying to keep the focus on the spiritual for our sakes.  As for Santa, Matteo kept insisting that that little purple bear was from Santa so he didn't seem too impressed with any other deliveries.  So in some ways it was a very low key Christmas at our home anyhow.  Matteo had a great time at my sister's on Christmas day and was thrilled when he got some a Thomas bathtub train and boat, and some talking Thomas, Percy and Victor trains....  Of course the pyjamas and clothes etc.... mommy appreciated.

What I wil remember most are the walks in the snow that I took with Matteo.  On Christmas eve we walked around the neighbourhood enjoying the Christmas lights...Matteo loves Christmas lights....then on Christmas morning we went for another walk and it was wonderfully quiet and we wished any neighbour we saw, a Merry Christmas.  Today after our mini blizzard, we took a walk, mostly to un - snow the car and get it off the street, and then we went for a long walk at Matteo's insistence...he did not want to go home...kept saying "no home"...so he enjoyed walking and playing with snow....and wanted to stay out longer. Well, I thoroughly enjoyed those walks!  Hope for a few more before the holidays are finished.

The other thing I loved was Matteo trying to sing a couple of Christmas carols....Frosty and Jingle Bells were favourites....if I'm able to, here are a couple of videos I managed to get.

Frosty the snow man.....

Jingle Bells....

Santa 2012....

Well we tried to go back to the Santa we visited last year and again Matteo was fascinated by the train and little village set up they had.  He was warming up to Santa and went from saying he wanted to visit him and no, he didn't.  Sadly even though there was lots of space and we weren't interfering with anyone else getting through, one of the women, sort of us asked to move away!  Not impressed esp. as I was considering buying the fruit cake they had on display...but nope, if she couldn't have a little more patient with a little one, then we would reconsider where we'll go to see Santa next year.  Santa on the other hand, came up to Matteo and gave him a candy cane and the package of stickers and small gifts that he gives to all children who see him....so that was nice.

Santa 2012 will have to be the Santa Matteo reluctantly sat with at our annual Calabrian Christmas party.  As you will see below, not the eager visit but he loved /loves the little purple bear (have I mentioned how much Matteo is into his stuffed toys...a number of them sleep with him, including this new bear)....so for Matteo Santa gave him the bear and he holds him dear.

Croup at Christmastime....(again).....

....What a week....Matteo and I have both been sick...started with croup which was a deja vu to last year's croup and a high fever, and a very different weekend than we planned. Then just as Matteo was about to head back to daycare, mommy got sick, and was it ugly...still is, but much better.....  Needless to say, all those plans to get things done the week before Christmas were put on hold and /or cancelled...Matteo still has a cough and I'm able to manage things much better but feeling very low of energy and enthusiasm...even the snow wasn't helping until I got to Matteo's daycare and saw this wonderful snowman....and when I went inside Matteo started to sing a bit of Frosty to me.  So that helped to lift my spirits....so for now all I'm hoping for is a healthy Christmas!!

Cookie time....

 

Sleepy time....

Remembering the women.....

December 6th is the anniversary of when Matteo and I flew back from Vietnam after his adoption.

It is also the anniversary of the shooting of women in Quebec at the Ecole Polytechnique de Montreal...sometimes referred to as the Montreal Massacre.  On our journey home that year, as I have on every year since 1989, I think of those women.

It is therefore very appropriate and no coincidence that the 16 days of Action against Gender Violence are set during this time.

As the mother of a boy, I know that violence against women is taught and begins with how we socialize our boys and girls.  It is very important and is critical if we are ever to change attitudes.  I saw a posting the other day where students were complaining/protesting that their university was inviting girls to workshops on how to avoid being raped instead of holding workshops for the boys on how to not rape.  This is what society likes to do, blame the women for being raped, instead of looking at how we teach boys and men that rape is acceptable when they need to learn that it is not. Rape and violence does not begin with women but with men. More needs to be done to hold workshops to deal with the attitudes that the boys and men have and their responsibility, and not the other way around.

This is the attitude shift that is needed.

Boys need to be raised to know that it is not acceptable to be violent, and specifically it is not acceptable to be violent towards women. Rape is not about sex.  It is about violence and power.

I am doing my best to raise Matteo with positive attitudes, though I am afraid of the socialization he will get through the many messages out there that I have no control over.  However on this eve before this anniversay, I always think of the women in Montreal. I will never forget the comment published in a newspaper by a friend of one of the victims.  She said "She had a dream of becoming an engineer. What was wrong with that?"   Those words were pivotal in my life and because of them I was able to go on and make different choices than what I had been planning.  Dreams are important and following those dreams, regardless of obstacles or problems is something I hang on to.

Those women were denied their choice at life and dreams.  I will continue to remember them and continue to embrace and do my best to fulfill my dreams, in respect for them and their memory, and not take dreams for granted.

Oh Christmas Tree....Oh Christmas Tree.....

December 1st - World AIDS Day

On this occasion I wanted to share this blog World Moms Blog where another blogger Hike, Blog, Love that I've been following has had an article posted.  Some things to consider on this day.

Just because.....then again Happy 2.5 birthday Matteo...

I love this photo...taken by a friend of mine.....thanks M....decided to consider it his two and a half year old photo even though it was taken a week ago. Happy Birthday Matteo...we had a so so day. Got called from daycare as he was sick, but at home, did well, though food intake was not his usual....other wise a nice surprise to be home with him on this special day.

First Cappuccino without the coffee....

....for Matteo, at our favourite coffee place celebrating mommy's birthday and Matteo's adoption.  My sister invited us to lunch and of course the cappuccinos afterwards were also quite a treat!

 

Celebrating 2nd year G&R Anniversary ...

on November 22 and mommy's birthday on November 24.  

Two years ago - me-va-con-trai-mother-and-son-mamma e figlio

 this is what we were doing....

Anniversary of when I met Matteo for the first time....

Two years ago I met my little boy!!  Reliving it here....tonight on our drive home I was telling Matteo about the importance of these days, travelling to Vietnam, meeting him, and becoming his mommy being the best birthday present I got.  He promptly told me that we should get cake and canles for my bitthday....and of course how could I say no....

Also happy Anniversary G and M on meeting your little one G. too!!  The lovely memories continue!!

Memories....two years ago...

This is what I was doing two years ago today!

Prayers needed for twin girls

Prayers are needed for the twin girls recently adopted from Vietnam and now home and admitted to hospital for full assessment. Both sisters are very sick; however, one is especially struggling. 

Any positive energy, prayers, thoughts that you can contribute would be appreciated!

The family will update their blog when they are able to. 

During this time when my own memories of Matteo's adoption resurface, it is especially heart wrenching to know what a difference a family's love can make to a child's life.  In my post yesterday I used the word "blossom"...and that is exactly how I feel, Matteo is opening up in so many ways and I know what his life could have been like left behind. 

I am thinking and praying for these little girls and hoping that they too "blossom" with the love of a family and with the medical care they need. 

Dear God please keep S and I in your safe and loving hands and fill them with the spirit of your healing grace and strength.

Follow-up Report #4

Tonight Matteo and I picked up the photos that will be sent as part of the package with his 4th follow-up report.  For those who adopt from Vietnam, you will be legally required to send 4 copies of a Report and at least 4 photos, twice a year for the first 3 years....so six reports in all. Only a couple of years ago it included, after these initial 6 reports, one report a year until the child turns 18.  They have changed that. I hope to still send a report once a year with updated photos if they want, even to the orphanage but will have to look into that and see if it is still possible. Anyhow Report #4, like the other reports is slightly late.  It was due on Oct. 22, a month before the G&R anniversary of Nov. 22.

Of course these days with all that is going on, it is still a focus of my attention to relive November 2010 when my life changed forever.  Actually I usually go back to July just before the referral came in, and then all the posts on the blog subsequent to that...(still working on getting that portion made into a book)....and then when I get to November and travel, and meeting Matteo and the G&R and remembering those days, always makes me cry. These days I have an even more heightened sensitivity to how precious time is and how fragile life can be. 

Matteo continues to blossom and change....yestereday we walked home from daycare holding hands...the first time to do this and will be the first of many walks back and forth to school.  Yesterday for the first time he also started peddling the tricycle at daycare. We have one at home and while we have gone on rides, Matteo has resisted even trying to turn those pedals..but yesterday when I arrived to pick him up, there he was walkign the tricycle and then peddling. His caregivers were also very happy as he was riding the tricycle which was something they usually see with the preschoolers not the senior toddlers.  I sense something has changed in Matteo in the last few weeks...we are having more conversations now...not full full sentences, but Matteo using vocabulary that I didn't even know he had. It is such a blessing to be part of so many of his firsts while also knowing that the environment where he spends his days has also contributed to his developing sense of self and curiosity. 

Anyhow the 22nd of November will be our 2nd anniversary of the G&R and we are still not sure what we'll do, (I teach that night so we'll celebrate the day after) but whatever it is, we'll be together and just celebrate that. Two days later it will be my birthday. November continues to be such a memorable month in my life and Matteo continues to be the best birthday present I ever got!!

2 sets of Twin girls....

One set of twin girls have arrived safe and sound in Canada and another family is just about to travel to pick up another pair..so very exciting.

I wish the family traveling a thousand good wishes and prayers as they travel to meet and adopt their girls. Unfortunately they do not have a family blog.

For the family who has just arrived, I also wish a thousand good wishes and prayers as they begin a new chapter in their lives and family All paperwork was processed in record speed so the family was able to come home a week earlier than expected.

Matteo and I hope to meet all of them at some point down the road.

Today is Remembrance day, a sad day and raining here in Ottawa, yet there is so much to be hopeful for. The spirit of giving, helping and sacrificing continues to pop up in all places and ways. Lots to remember today and to be thankful for this morning.

Twin girls officially adopted.....

....baby girls have been officially adopted and are beginning the process of bonding with their parents now....sweet girls...and yes very tiny....for those who are interested here is the family's blog where they will probably post photos soon.
 

Twin girls

Thinking and praying for two twin girls in Vietnam that are in fragile health. 

 The parents met them earlier today and are there to adopt them. Their G&R is scheduled for Nov. 5.  The mother just posted that they are very fragile and worries that they got there too late. 

 At the moment I'm feeling very frustrated and angry at the international adoption process and the incredible bureaucracy, papertrail, money, and too long time that it takes to allow children, especially fragile ones, to be adopted quickly.  In this case I understand many of the delays were on the Canadian side.

 Praying that for these little girls it isn't too late!

Dress up and Adoption #2 update

We're not too much into Halloween around here, or I should say I'm not....especially the ghoulish side of it, so will probably make it as low key as I can and leave it to Matteo to guide how much he'll get into it.  Matteo is in a wonderful multi-race-ethnically diverse daycare and they were very much into not forcing anyone to participate in the dressing up today etc....but over the last few days did talk about it and helped the children to understand some of the cultural aspects of it.  I had not really mentioned even the word "Halloween" to Matteo and on Monday night after daycare we headed to the university to drop off some papers and some students in our unicentre wanted to give him a little package of candy, but he refused to take it.  He was very shy and a bit overwhelmed with all the students around so I suggested maybe on our way out, we could drop by again if Matteo wanted to accept the gift.  So on our way out I asked him if he wanted to drop by for the candy and he said yes. After he thanked the girls, he turned to me, held up the candy and said "halloeen"....I didn't even know he knew the word and what it was but he sure learned quickly even before tonight, that halloeen comes with candy...and for that, I'm all in!!

 

Anyhow here are a few photos taken at home today. L. at daycare took one of me and Matteo with her camera as I had forgotten mine, and I hope to add that one at some point. I had not dressed Matteo up in a costume today, but when I arrived to pick him up he was in a princess dress. He looked so beautiful and apparently was in the gown all day and refused to take it off when we went home so I managed to get these photos. I'm so so happy that his caregivers are so open to letting him dress and experiment with whatever he wants to wear and don't offer restrictions etc....that is wonderful and he was so happy when I saw him. So we celebrated with a drive in the neighbourhood to see the big cat around the corner and some of the other more playful decorations while avoiding one very scary house. 

 

Anyhow I also wanted to add a quick update on adoption #2. I have been a bit worried as I may have mentioned a while ago, something has come up...well the something is a health issue that I need to deal with and am dealing with it.  I knew I would have to update my sw and agency about it soon and I did.  While at first I thought I was being told the adoption would be put on hold, in the end I was told only that, the ministry approval has not been rescinded, but once I have the procedure, which will fix the problem 100%, I will need to have updated medical letters written. This I was very prepared to do anyhow and hoped that that would be the extent of it. 

 

So I am so relieved to know that things can still move forward.  All of my doctors are aware of my second adoption plan and have been very supportive and have stated that this, while it needs fixing, is not something that will negatively impact my health in the long term.  So something to celebrate and continue to pray that things move forward positively. If another child is meant to enter our lives then nothing will stop it from happening. So happy dressup day everyone. I sure hope your bellies aren't as full of chocolate as mine is!!