Happy 22 months birthday Matteo...

....still can't believe that in 2 months I'll have a two year old running around!!....to celebrate tomorrow we hope to have some dairy queen ice cream after getting some passport photos taken, for him to update his passport, for me for my 2nd adoption application.  As I was saying to E and C, I'm not sure this is all going to happen, but I started this whole adoption journey with the idea of two children in mind....and while the journey to Matteo was full of its own twists and turns, I am trying to trust that this next child will come into our lives if it is meant to be.

  I remember just before I got Matteo's referral in July of 2010, I had sort of given up and felt it wasn't going to happen...a part of me had decided that if I did not get a referral through the summer and I was asked to do a homestudy update, as it was expiring at the end of September, then I was going to let go and trust that it was not meant to be. I sort of feel the same now, in the sense that when I thought of getting on this roller coaster again (I hate roller coasters..was on one only once and promptly threw up at the end of it..) anyhow back in January all I could think of was the infinite wait, life on hold, uncertainty, desperation, fear, joy, and all sorts of emotions...anyhow I'm not sure at what point but somewhere between Jan and now, I came to accept that if Matteo doesn't have a sibling we would be okay, just as I had accepted that if Matteo, or at that point, some idea of a child, would not come into my life, I would be okay.  You know sort of like when someone says you have to let go and let God work in your life....and trust that whatever happens you'll be okay.... Anyhow I sort of feel that again, and am perfectly happy and will not feel frustrated (then again I might with some things )if it doesn't work out, I feel at peace with that, but at the same time I know it is something I will always regret if I don't at least try...so I'm trying and yes going to get my barf bags ready for the roller coaster ride.

 So the reality is, things have changed slightly at the agency with how they are handling files...it turns out that I will only be put on a list once my homestudy is approved at the ministry, so that approval date is what will decide where I'm at...once that happens if I have understood correctly I will also be logged in, in Vietnam....so we are hoping that we can get the update done asap...or at least submitting by end of June early July, which I believe was the time period that my first homestudy was sent to the ministry..so I like that....and then, I, we, like many other families wait...but I am blessed to have someone to wait with now...

I have decided to go the special needs route, 0-24 months, minor correctable special need....and while it is not a hard a fast rule, the ministry would like Matteo to be at least 18 months older than his sibling....I am open to either sex, though I guess I think I am hoping for a girl, but don't think I will specify....so that's where we're at at the moment on the adoption #2 front...

As for Matteo and his new daycare, he is doing remarkably well...still transitioning but for the past couple of days he hasn't cried when I've dropped him off so that is great....he has a few caregivers, but two are the main ones in his room, and two floaters....it is a great place...hope to get some other photos but here are a few, a couple from the daycare and then one taken today, with Matteo trying to wear mommy's hat...he has such a great sense of humour, when I almost put my hat on him at the daycare, as soon as we got home he wanted to try it out and wore it around the house while he played....

 

Things I am hoping to write about soon....

Matteo's new daycare
First social worker visit for possible adoption #2
the job
Matteo is almost 22 months old

but for now a wonderful photo of the brief summer like weather we had in March...one day 27 degrees....tonight they're calling for freezing rain, so for now the photo is the memory of a brief blip in weather conditions with the hope of real summer days ahead.....

Happy 21 months....well for the most part....

Well it has been a very busy month, that started with a computer crash and lots of things lost (still not dealing with that but it explains the absence of blogging) and a very very tough week. Matteo I think is already experiencing some terrible two tantrums, even though he is only 21 months old! We celebrated his being 21 months old with the little boy being sick...and ended up at CHEO again last Sunday as Matteo woke up with very bad hives and very itchy...didn't know what was happening to his little body...had planned to go to see his doctor in the morning but Sunday night he kept waking up with a hoarser and hoarser voice and then seemed to be having trouble breathing...I decided that instead of waiting for the middle of the night, we'd head to CHEO as I was worried he was having some kind of allergic reaction that was getting worse.

Well 4 hours later, emergency doctor thought he was experiencing an allergic reaction to something, but she didn't think it was food but maybe something else and not to worry it happens often to children and sometimes won't happen again so she said I shouldn't try to figure it out.  The night before I hosted our monthly SPA gathering (Single Parents adoption group) and there were lots of adults and six children so knew there were new smells and stuff, but nothing I don't think out of the ordinary. I tried to tell the doctor that Matteo seemed a bit off the last few days and she felt the hives and the breathing were two different things..he had a cold and she could hear some congestion. They tried to give him some benadryl, cinnamon flavoured and he promptly threw up!!  So at 4:30 we headed home exhausted. We both slept a bit,  but Matteo was up 3 hours later.....but then had some other symptoms and the hives seemed to have gone away.

On Tuesday we had our previously scheduled CHEO adoption clinic appointment, our last one, and the doctors were great. They felt taken together all of Matteo's symptoms, it is more likely that he is fighting some kind of virus that has symptoms like hives, low grade fever, and the other things I won't mention here. We had a couple of sleepless nights of him waking up often and I'm not at my best when I'm tired...but bubblegum flavoured benadryl also didn't stay down, but with his milk it is, so that is how we're coping for the week....Anyhow he is much better now, he stayed out of daycare for a day and the hives are continuing but much smaller. He is a tough little boy, who loves eating snow, who would watch Thomas the train 24 hours a day if I let him, who likes roaring like a lion, and gurgling like a fish.  He can be as sweet as my saying I was feeling cold and next thing I know he was bringing me my sweater, and then on the other side he can scream so loud just because he doesn't want to get in the car seat, or if I tell him to say goodbye to Thomas for a bit....he likes what he likes etc...but is learning so much and changing every day.

The other birthday present which may be more positive though we have not made a firm decision yet, is that a daycare spot has opened up in a daycare that is run out of the elementary school in the neighbourhood that Matteo will attend one day (where I went to school as well!!). It is a licensed centre and a subsidized spot, however I want to see Matteo in the space and see how he reacts. It is a ratio of five children for one caregiver in the toddler program and all have ECE qualifications and from what I saw it looked great.  It was started by parents and is a non-profit centre where parents are heavily involved so we will see.  I am sad to leave my cousins as Matteo is very very happy there and she is so so good to him. She won't be able to fit us in full-time until September and that was what we were going to do and then this spot opened up.

The job is going well and there is enough work for me to put in a few more hours so that is good. I am really enjoying it and it is even allowing me to dream of possibilities and future dreams of living in Italy for a year and Vietnam too. As I work at home on a computer and the work is not tied to one place, (one of our team is in Vancouver) there are options of still having a job and working far away!! As long as there's an internet link, I can do my work! Of course at the moment these are all dreams and off in the distance, but it is nice to dream. Matteo was a dream and he is now a reality, so dreams really do come true.

Anyhow  I am glad this week is over and Matteo is sleeping soundly at the moment....2012 continues to surprise us and I continually feel blessed at how well we are being taken care of even when things are bad...we are being guided and new pathways are always opening up.  For now the immediate plan is to catch up on sleep and praying the little one is even better tomorrow.

Here is a photo to remember Matteo's hives and then a couple of photos of the SPA gathering with the six children all playing with Matteo's toys and he was so good with sharing (for the most part).