The Magic of Christmas....

Matteo's "No"

Bao is Matteo's giraffe. This is a game that my cousin Lucy played with him this past week, and I tried to get it on tape...as you can see he only played for a short time and then he snuggled again...you can see Bao in the last shot...

Chuc Mừng Giáng Sinh, Buon Natale, Joyeux Noël, Feliz Navidad, Kala Xpistoyena, Merry Christmas.....

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A very quiet Christmas eve...After a very fun morning of riding his new car and some play time Matteo went down for his nap at his usual time but woke up almost 3 hours later with a low fever. We were supposed to spend the latter part of the day and have dinner with one of my sisters and some friends. My sister made paella, as per the Italian tradition to eat seafood/fish only on Christmas eve.  She sent me a photo, it looked delicious. I didn't join them and instead Teo and I stayed in and snuggled and watched his favourite show, Thomas the Tank engine. I had planned to drop off a few gifts before heading to my sister's but none of that took place. I'm hoping that the rest he had helped. At one point in the early evening, his fever seemed to be gone and that's when he played with his car and then had some soup for dinner. But unfortunately when he went down for his nightly sleep, he was hot again. Checked in on him at 9:30 and again the fever seems to have lifted...Hope it stays away. So I'm very glad we didn't plan too much today and as it was so cold out, it turned out to be a good day/night to stay in. I think Christmas eve has always been more special for me, and quiet is exactly how I like it. So a perfect Christmas eve with my little boy, except for the fever part!...Buon Natale, Merry Christmas to everyone.

'Twas the day before Christmas and all through the house....

...a little boy was whirling, in every room in the house....I decided to surprise Matteo with one of his Santa presents today so that he could really have some fun. As I suspected he loved it.....his first car, which is also musical.  While he was playing I put it in the hallway and it took a while for him to notice it but when he did, he focused on it for some time. As I had hoped, he loved that it was musical and had lots of buttons to push and play with.  As you will see with the photos, there was some pushing of buttons, some riding, some making music, some pushing the cart, and even some dancing.  A very low key morning for us.  So very nice to just not have much to do other than entertain a little boy.

A present for mommy....

Tis the season to look for a new daycare....

It has been a very challenging year, being a mom for the first time, and trying to juggle work and parenting to a special little boy.  It is ending on a very challenging tone as well....Matteo and I have been forced to find a new day care for him. It has been very sad to feel and be told that your child's needs and your needs are "an inconvenience."

As a single parent I have tried to balance not working full time, with some work at home, and many shorter daycare stays, but unfortunately this has not worked out...  It has been a learning experience that even though you discussed certain things about your child's needs and your own, and signed a contract that stated certain things, and was told it was "no problem"  and tried to bring these up....it can all fall apart quite quickly.  Then to add further humiliation to the whole experience to be told you are "hurting your family" and "you are ruining your daycare providers' Christmas"....ummmm let's see daycare provider home still has two incomes, my home, no daycare, mommy doesn't work, no income??? and who is the one who has to find a new daycare??.....definitely "not a good fit"...for these few days Matteo is being cared for by a cousin who also runs a daycare.  Fortunately a couple of her children are already gone on vacation so she was able to take him.  Hard on Matteo, hard on his mommy but so grateful to my cousin. Hard also on my pocket book as I will still be paying for the remaining two weeks without having Matteo in the daycare. This was my choice, but what would you do if it was your child and you were told such things...would you continue to bring your child there? I think not!!

I am sure we will find another spot for Matteo that will take care of his needs as well as his mommy's, but for now all of this has left a very very very sour taste in my mouth as well as my heart.  Happening at this time of year is unfortunate but it will not ruin our Christmas. Matteo has the love of so many people in his life and they are the ones who we will share it with. Most especially he has my love and I will always continue to advocate for his needs and for what is best for him, as I am both mother and father to him and his parent.

Christmas Magic

Two sides of Matteo.....

Matteo and Santa....another interesting experience

Well if your read my earlier post, you would know that Matteo is feeling better.  So this morning we went off to Westgate mall to pick up and print some photos.  I also sort of wanted to check the Santa in this small mall. Turns out Santa is run by volunteers who are fundraising for Children at Risk - Special needs families dealing with children with Autism. They charge $5.00 per photo, let you take any photos you want on your own camera, and also will transfer the images to your disk for an additional donation. The line was very small...only two families ahead of us so thought we'd try.  Matteo was a bit hesitate, though he loved the train display and kept saying "Chou Chou..."....and then eventually wandered over to Santa. These first two photos are the official photos. The later ones were done because they wanted to apologize because before she was able to transfer the images to disk, she accidentally deleted them?? But thank goodness were printed before they were deleted. I told her I could still scan them and not to worry, but they felt bad and wanted to take some more photos for us, which they did. Matteo by this point had had enough so he refused to sit on Santa's knee at first, so I got to take some photos with Santa and then we tried with Matteo and Santa alone...not so fun...Matteo only smiled, as you will see, when he got the bell back from Santa!! Great memories and another great story.

This is my favourite....

Here are the freebees with mommy and a reluctant Matteo...

....and here is the second attempt about an hour after the first two photos were snapped....and Matteo really trying to wiggle off Santa's lap as well as trying hard to get that bell!

...and here he is with the bell...happy Teo!!

Croup at Christmastime

As a followup for those who have asked and more details on what happened.....Matteo is doing much much much better. He still has a slight cough and no longer has a low grade fever and this morning for the first time in a week, I saw that little or should I say, big personality back...his mischievous grin and laugh when he is teasing me. That was great to see and hear.  Last night we both had a good night's sleep and I heard very little coughing.  I am slowing recovering from the lack of sleep both from our hospital visit, but also not sleeping very well as I was checking on him more often in order to make sure he was fine.

      Last Sunday night he developed this bad cough, and woke up a few times. On Monday morning, our family doctor was able to squeeze him in. She mentioned croup and suggested I just monitor him to make sure he's fine and to watch for breathing difficulties. Monday evening when he went to bed, he was waking up much more often from the coughing and crying. I was able to settle him a few times but then at about 9:30 when my friends were leaving (I had two friends over for a visit) Matteo had his worse bout of coughing.  As I said goodbye to them, I went up to him. I could not settle him and he was crying quite a bit, and wanted to be taken out of bed. We came downstairs where I could better see his breathing which from my sense, he was having trouble with breathing. I wrapped him in his snowsuit and we went out on the porch for about 10 minutes in the cold air and that seemed to calm him and his breathing did seem to become more normal.  After we came back inside and waited about 10 minutes, he again started to cough and then the same difficulty breathing.  I tried to find my friend's cell number as they were both experienced moms and J. had said her son also had croup when he was young, so wanted to see what she thought...unfortunately I couldn't find the number and was becoming worried.
 
     I made the decision to go to the hospital and was getting our things ready. I had planned to go in our car....this was about 10 p.m. or so, and then Matteo began to vomit after another coughing episode.  As I was calming and cleaning him, realized I couldn't go in our car as I could not take a chance that Teo would have both breathing problems as well as vomiting. He is still in a rear facing seat. I also didn't think waiting to call a friend to accompany us was the best decision, so I called 911.  While I was on the line with paramedics, Matteo was calm. As we were waiting for the ambulance, Matteo's coughing again made him vomit.  I was getting even more worried. The paramedics were very good with Matteo and while he was crying at first, he then calmed down.  Both of the paramedics did feel it was croup and one of them started explaining what they were going to do etc. and that by law they had to strap him onto a gurney...etc...but as she was explaining about what she would do if he started to have severe trouble breathing...she said something about what they might have to do....and then said something about it being "fatal"....I think at that point I was slightly in panic mode and was no longer thinking or listening.

    The paramedic had to tell me to bring Matteo's snowsuit, and yes that I should bring some milk with me, and also to get my coat as we were about to leave and I was about to walk out with no coat.  So that was a blur.

    In the ambulance, I was feeling very nauseous, both because of motion sickness, but also from the worry, and just found myself praying, and speaking with Matteo.  He on the other hand was looking around and not crying.  He did not have a mask on him but they put the oxygen tube just above his head. She also proceeded to glue little patches on his body so she could measure his heart rate and take a reading. She also taped a probe on his tiny thumb so she could measure his oxygen level.  We went to the hospital with the sirens blazing.  She told me it was all precautionary.  We seemed to get there in no time at all. The nurses who we were transferred to immediately also thought it was croup and then gave him some advil for his throat which they felt was probably very sore. He had no fever but Matteo was crying again.  The reason he was in hospital pyjamas was because I did not bring a change of clothing with him and as his sleeper was all wet from his vomit.  Within minutes he was feeling better and instead of staying close to me, started to explore his surroundings.  It would be hours before we would see the doctor, and the waiting room was FULL.  When we saw her and she checked Matteo, she officially determined it was Croup and gave him a dose of steroid medicine by mouth which she said would help with his breathing over the next few days as he fought the infection.  Of course she said, if it doesn't help and he continues to have trouble breathing, even after you bring him into cold air again, then to bring him back to hospital, where he would be admitted to be helped to fight the virus. She also told me that unless he felt really unwell, that he should continue to go to daycare, unless she said I wanted to keep him home for the entire winter!!

So our report is that we don't have to go back...but what a stressful experience for the little one and for his mommy.

From the pamphlet that the doctor gave us...


What is croup? Croup is an infection of the breathing tube (trachea or windpipe) below the vocal chords (voice box).  Croup is caused by a virus, so antibiotics won't help. This virus causes the lining of the windpipe to become swollen. This causes a lot of noise when your child breathes in. Your child may also find it hard to breathe. Croup happens more often through the winter and early spring (October to May. It is most common in babies and children 1 to 4 years old. Croup usually lasts for 5 or 6 days.

How will I know if my child has croup?
If your child has croup, she will have:  -Noisy breathing (especially when breathing in) - A bark-like cough - A hoarse voice - He might also have a fever, and feel unwell. With croup, breathing trouble is often worse at night. Your child may even wake up because he is having a hard time breathing.

How can I take care of my child at home?


-Cool air - Wrap your child in a blanket and bring her outside into the cool air.  You can also hold your child in front of an open window or open freezer door. If your child's breathing is still noisy and difficult after 10-15 minutes, bring your child to the hospital.
- Lots of rest.
- Plenty of fluids like breastmilk, water, apple juice, popsicles, formula. - Treat sore throat and fever. Give your child ibuprofen (Advil, Motrin) or acetaminophen (Tylenol, Tempra) for fever or sore throat. Do not give ibuprofen to babies under 6 months.

Bring your child to the hospital if your child:

-Is working hard to breathe.
-Has blue lips or fingernails.
-Won't drink
-Has trouble swallowing
-Is weak and has no energy
-Starts drooling

Tele health 1-866-797-0000

Name Change Application

In the province of Ontario, there is a 12 month residency requirement before you can legally change your child's name.  Matteo arrived in Canada on Dec. 6, 2010, therefore he has now met the residency requirement, and I can proceed with legally changing his name so that we will share a last name.  I am keeping the same middle name Bao that he was given so he will officially be Matteo Bao + .....after this process is complete I will therefore reapply to change his name on his Health card, Citizenship card, Passport, RESP, and any other document where his name is still in his Vietnamese name.

So this morning I went to our family lawyer. He acted as both the Guarantor and the Commissioner of Oaths for our Name Change Application. As Commissioner he can Notarize documents and this is what he did.  The application will be mailed today, December 8, 2011.

  The application asks for certain documents -  a photocopy (front and back) of the Citizenship card and then "Court documents".  In our case the "Court documents" will be the adoption papers to attest to the fact that I have legally adopted Matteo and have sole custody of him and therefore can apply for a name change.

  I will not be sending any of the original Vietnamese documents, however I brought them with me.  Our lawyer photocopied the originals, and then notarized, stamped and signed each photocopy attesting to the fact that he saw the originals and these are photocopies of the originals.  While in Vietnam, Loan our TDH representative, had two certified translations made of each of the documents by a Vietnamese translator and each translation is stamped, signed and has an affidavit attached.  I will be sending one of these original certified translations, with affidavits, for three documents. 

So here is the list of the documents I am sending.

1. Photocopy of Matteo's passport - Notarized, stamped, and signed by lawyer (this was
    not requested but I sent it anyway.)
2. Photocopy of front and back, of Matteo's citizenship card - Notarized, stamped, and
    signed by lawyer
3. Photocopy of Ontario Ministry of Children Letter - Letter of No Objection - Addressed
    to Department of Adoption in Vietnam - and has both my name and Matteo's
    Vietnamese name on it - Notarized, stamped, and signed by lawyer (again not
    requested but felt it as a Canadian document that attested to the fact that I adopted
    Matteo.)

4. Photocopy of Vietnamese Birth Certificate - Notarized, stamped, and signed by lawyer
5. Photocopy of Decision to Adopt documents - Notarized, stamped, and signed by
    lawyer
6. Photocopy of G&R documents - Notarized, stamped, and signed by lawyer

7. Original Translation of Vietnamese Birth Certificate - With Affidavit by Vietnamese
    Translator attached.
8. Original Translation of "Decision to Adopt" Document -With Affidavit by Vietnamese
    Translator attached.

9.  Original Translation of "G&R" Document - With Affidavit by Vietnamese Translator

    attached.

10. Cheque in the amount of $137.00

I will post on this blog the application as it  processes and if there are any glitches.  I know from other information and blogs, there seem to be issues about having original documents translated by a Canadian translator, however the person I spoke to at the Ministry, insisted that all they need is the affidavit by the translator, regardless of country of origin..so I'll see if that applies.

Okay off to the postoffice!!  So so much paperwork!!

December 5 and 6th, last year and this year...

What a difference a year makes, right?    ... well not always, though Matteo has grown....Last year on these dates we were getting ready to travel home to Canada from Vietnam, and this year on the anniversary of our return, another memorable event:  Matteo's first trip by ambulance to CHEO.  He has croup, was having trouble breathing, and throwing up....terrible and anxious time for him and his mommy, though Teo was very calm while the paramedics buckled him onto the gurney and attached all kinds of tubes....he was fascinated, but for his mommy a tiring  and very stressful ordeal, not unlike our return trip from Vietnam...stressful, worrisome, and looooooooong........

Last year...

To see more photos from our trip last year from Vietnam to Canada, click here.

For this year's memories keep scrolling.....look thumb sucking and Matteo's favourite giraffe....we have tentatively named the giraffe Bao....

More Christmas....

It's starting to look a lot like Christmas....

...well sort of....the snow came, and then went....but the tree did go up....and is being enjoyed thoroughly by all of us...

.

A week to celebrate....

Tonight Matteo and I celebrated the anniversary of his adoption, one year ago on November 22, and my birthday today on the 24th.  Of course Matteo becoming my son has been the best birthday present ever.  On his adoption day last year Matteo wore a little duckie outfit so ducks will always remind me of that, and if I remember correctly, gack, gack, for quack, quack, was Matteo's third word!!....

Anyhow tonight I chose a little cake and used two little duck candles, one for me and one for him. Then to celebrate the 1st year  anniversary of his adoption I chose his one year old candle from his birthday cake this past May.  It has been a very special week and so wonderful to relive memories from last year. I think when we returned from Vietnam I was probably operating on adrenalin, jet lag and not sure if I appreciated every moment.  But this year it is wonderful to be able to allow myself to relive it through my memories that resurface and really let it sink in that I am now a mother and that Matteo Bao is really my son!!..

...It was a roller coaster ride getting to that G&R moment, and another roller coaster ride since.  I definitely prefer the latter roller coaster though. Matteo is blossoming, and so wonderful that he is understanding so much, and learning new words such that we are able to understand each other most of the time now...not always, but so so so much more.  It is very hard being a mom, and definitely there are difficult times, but really as everyone has said before me, this time and this little boy, was worth all of the wait and all of the never ending paperwork!! Ti voglio bene Matteo!!