Where did my baby go????

Tonight when I picked Matteo up from daycare and was getting information on how his day went, the conversation turned to his potty training.  His caregiver said that she thinks it's time for Matteo to try wearing underwear instead of diapers!!!!....I was a bit floored by this...it is going too fast...I don't even have underwear for Matteo yet...we've only been using pullups for a couple of weeks??? and while there has been some regression, mostly with pee, though on the poo front he has been doing super well and she feels he's doing well enough that she felt they could and are willing to continue to help him move to the underwear stage.  Where has my baby gone???  I'm not ready for this...not only because we don't have any underwear, but this means he's no longer a baby and is really a little boy!!....time is just flying too too too fast!! While I am so happy for him on the one hand....not sure I'm really ready to let go but evidently it is not up to me but really Matteo's schedule we're following....so we will start with pullups and tomorrow we will shop for underwear!!

Happy 26 month birthday Matteo!  We will celebrate by remembering that this is the day that we decided to move you into underwear, another milestone!! 

Just because it's Wednesday....

...and to answer Elizabeth's question...Matteo had a very good day in daycare today...as I arrived he was playing outside and he came running to me, happy as a little bird and as I turned to the caregivers, they both said what a good day he had.  Of course they don't like to have to tell parents that their child was not happy and I'm sure as I did when I was a teacher, always feel it is all my fault and that I should do better...so I try, and I know they tried, and they were very happy for him and for them, but again transitioning with caregivers is one thing, but dealing with pink eye and a molar all at the same time is very challenging...they are great and I do not blame them in the least....I knew it would take a bit of time for him to adjust and I'm sure today his molar and pink eye were not bothering him as much. I'm sure he will still have off days, but am looking forward to getting back into the rhythm we were in...then again, just when we get into it, I'm sure it might be time for him to head to the even nicer preschool set of two rooms....so some ups and downs and some okay and bad days...I guess the nature of parenting...so it is important to hang onto the good ones.  Today was  a good one and the toddler room was visited by a children's librarian from our main library and Matteo even told me he enjoyed the books....we were planning to visit it this summer some time as it is walking distance. I so want to continue to nurture Matteo's love of books and was so happy to hear he had a good day and was able to enjoy the class visitor!!

.....I've been so emotional lately...felt this way a bit when I was awaiting my referral for Matteo...I've never been pregnant but know that women can feel very and more sensitive and emotional during the pregnancy and somehow that is how I feel, I cry with little provocation. Tonight however as I was scrolling down my facebook homepage, S, had posted some photos of her son on the day of her G&R.  M. was also from the same orphanage as Matteo. The photos made me emotional and then she posted their adoption video...well, the floodgates opened and I cried through all 7 minutes of it and still kept crying afterwards. It is so hard to explain the experience of adoption and the experience of Vietnam. I'd like to try to write about it one day and want to capture the feelings if I can. However for now I feel pregnant (maybe that explains the extra pounds) and not just that I've been sitting at the computer more with my job???...sympathy pregnancy...wonder if anyone has written about that in relation to adoption?!  Regardless, it was such an amazing journey, an adventure as the video that S. posted states and so very emotional......Both of our families are hoping to adopt a second time so we are both hoping to have that adventure again soon in Vietnam....

...So an emotional day, a happy Matteo at the end of the day, and a very emotional evening thinking and feeling the second adoption under my skin and swooshing around in my heart. 

I will end the post with a couple of photos of Matteo very much into his cars and trains and all kinds of vehicles lately. On Monday I had put away his train track and when he realized it, he got very upset. I try to alternate some of his toys when I see that he isn't playing with them, and well, that is just not going to be possible as I'll have to discuss it with Matteo first. He is so good at making decisions but as I tell him often, sometimes it will be mommy that has to make the decision regardless of him having an opinion on the matter. Tonight after we dropped into Luciano's for mommy's coffee, some special cookies and a kinderegg that Matteo opened so quickly that we had to buy it, I had promised Matteo that we would put the train track together again...and we did and he was even happier.  The photos weren't taken today but last week but they do capture Matteo's energy just like the multi-tasking photo I posted a few days ago.....

Just because it's Tuesday.......

...and another beautiful summer day, Matteo and I stopped in for coffee and a cupcake at our favourite coffee and pastry and ice cream place in the neighbourhood.  Matteo had a so so day today.   Most of it good, but his eye and his new molar and his new toddler room, are making for some challenging moments.  When I arrived to pick him up, he immediately started to cry when he saw me...and I wondered if he was up to our planned stop to end our day. After he calmed down a bit, I asked him if he would rather go home or go to the coffee place.... he immediately said he wanted to go for "kaki" ...coffee for mummy that is....so here he is enjoying his very first vanilla cupcake, which he chose.  The almost 2 inches of cream on top and the little decoration sprinkles were a real hit...he had a bit of cake to go with it, but that cream, so so so good!...His mood while we were there was also great, but of course the sugar crash hit him about an hour later, and it was no surprise to mommy when her little one went to sleep early tonight.

Chinatown additions....

For those of you who have lived or been to Ottawa over the last few years will know that it has been undergoing a replacement of all its underground pipes.  The results of this is not only that but most streets and sidewalks have been given a facelift, especially communities that are considered touist hubs.  We live in  a great community at the crossroads of both Little Italy and Chinatown.  On our walk to Matteo's daycare we either walk through Chinatown on our way there and when I pick him up, we walk through Little Italy. This morning it was Little Italy and as I walked home through Chinatown to my pleasure I saw some additions being installed on Somerset street...these beautifully carved benches with lanterns and lettering, and the beautiful garbage bins with cuttings of lotus blossoms, and bamboo trees.  The wonderful red street lights had already been installed but with these additional features the area becomes even more culturally rich and pedestrian friendly. 

We're so lucky to be living here.

Matteo in his Vung Tau t-shirt

Matteo multiple-tasking...

...driving his car, carrying some toys in his new back-pack, eating Cheerios and working on a sound puzzle....

Pink eye again, Vung tau details and change in plans yet again....

Well Matteo was back in daycare today after spending the past two days at home...his fever lifted the first afternoon and then the next day noticed his eye a bit pink....I had the antibiotic drops from the last time and not sure if I didn't get enough of the drops in last time to clear it up totally or if this is his second time with it....Of course trying to get the drops in his eye has been a challenge...bribing doesn't work, treats don't work, so I end up doing what we did when they took blood at CHEO, trying to hold him down while he cries and screams and I try with one hand to open his eye in order to put two drops in....Neighbours probably think I'm torturing him, but that's what I seem to have to do....will keep trying other things but got to get it cleared up...

....tonight he didn't want any supper at all, though he did drink some chocolate milk and have a few mouthfuls of cheerios/cereal on the way home...but while he is playful...something is off... I'm sure the stress of transitioning to the senior toddler room hasn't helped....and we are a bit back with his willingness to stay at daycare........though he isn't crying as he did when we first started....but it was nice for him to be looking forward to it  and even telling me that he preferred to go to daycare then stay home...this week, it was the other way around...so definitely a tough week for him..... and yes 'pee pee potty' regressed a bit...so will let him do what he wants and when he wants and where. However did manage to buy some pull ups today and when I put them on him, he was so so happy and proud of himself and then he managed to get to the potty twice within an hour though a third time in between, he used it to get down from his booster seat at the dinner table....and he really didn't have to go...so we are continuing to work on trying to make sure he doesn't use it as a way to get his way on something else....a smart little boy who has learned quickly that mamma, when told 'pee pee potty' jumps into action. I'm going to have to relax a bit more and get him into the potty when we can. The pull ups will help and will try to see if he can learn how to pull them down and up on his own so he can make his way to the potty himself without needing my help. I know that is a ways down the road...but in some things he seems ready to try, so we will.

We had another beautiful day today and it is so hard to focus on work though it is also a slower pace in the summer, which is great. There is work to do but not with the urgency and deadlines that took place in the winter and spring...I'm told that will happen every year but maybe not as slow as this one as the company is growing and some changes are happening in a positive direction...so it is always great not to feel stressed when Matteo is ill and I have to take time off...I've mentioned it before and will do so again...even in the winter when Matteo was ill, they were so supportive and did not make me feel more stressed about work, when I was already worried about a sick child...and Matteo has sure had his run at colds and illness etc....  One of the caregivers in the baby room who has been there for many years, keeps telling me that when he starts kindergarten, the illnesses will slow down, and he won't get sick as often, though the nature of school will still allow him to pick up some of the bugs around....

Anyhow Fridays are always so relaxing, but tonight when Matteo out and out refused his food, I was worried.  While I encouraged him, he did try to take a bite and then seemed to gag, so that was it for me....let him not eat anything and got him his train to play with....no need for him to eat if he's going to just bring it back up again.

Anyhow last night I had some work to do as I did not get much done when Matteo was here...but instead of working I found myself on S's old blog and went through all her posts when she went to Vung Tau to adopt T. in April of 2011. Not sure how much longer she will keep it online as she is no longer posting but there was lots of information on places she went both in Vung tau and HCMC and wanted to make sure I had them recorded. I can't seem to find the small book that I had with me during my trip to Vietnam...it had everything from information on the homestudy to phone numbers, restaurants, details about Matteo, etc. etc...and I know I recorded some of the info. from the S's blog...so I'm sure it is around here somewhere...I've looked in the places I thought it should be and will just have to think about it some more....could not have accidentally thrown it out...hope not....anyhow for some reason last night felt some kind of need to record this and is part of the preparation I mentioned in one of my previous posts about preparing and not preparing...Anyhow while it would be great to visit another part of Vietnam, I think it would be really wonderful if Matteo's sibling can come from the same area, and maybe even the same orphanage, as they would then share this and we can also go back and the nounous can see and visit with Matteo again too....but time will tell I guess...but hence my reason for recording the information from S, who was so thorough and added addresses etc...

So for now, we will see how things go for the weekend. There is an afternoon pool party tomorrow of families who have adopted from Vietnam that we had hoped to attend but I try never to make firm plans anymore and sure enough, if Matteo is behaving as he is, and not himself and having pink eye, the last thing anyone will need is to be exposed to him, or he probably won't be needing the stimulation of a large group though it is always nice to meet up....it is an annual event and I remember the only one I went to was in 2010 when I had a referral and instead of a child I had a photo with me.....I remember that I was trying to connect with my social worker, so not sure if I had received the medical or not sure why, but I remember her calling to tell me she couldn't make it and it was during the party....anyhow if we miss it as there is a strong possibility we will, I am glad it happens annually so we can try next year and live vicariously on the pictures others post....

....so for now, just going to try to relax for the rest of the evening....

Matteo home with fever....

...well from my recollection this is the highest fever Matteo has ever had 39.8 about 103.6 F...and with a few hives....he is playing a little bit but no other major symptoms so we will ride this out...he is just going down for a nap and hopefully that will help his little body heal....can't imagine what Lucy's mom goes through as Lucy recovers from yet another brain surgery..I guess a fever, while worrisome, helps me to understand in a very minor way what this family must be going through. For now I may just take a nap myself to prepare me for what might be a long night ahead.

Summer days...

We have been having amazing summer weather and it seems like it is continuing.  Our air conditioner died on Sunday so it was a sleepless night for both me and Matteo...while our appt. to repair it was scheduled for Wednesday, I called first thing Monday morning desperately asking for some help on Monday. They obliged and later that afternoon I couldn't believe how happy I was. Working from home was very challenging and not very productive in the heat and poor little Matteo...just did not have the heart to put him through another night of that...we had no fans other than the kitchen ceiling fan and believe me I was planning to have us sleep there if that is what it took to hang on until Wednesday.  I cannot imagine anyone not having some kind of respite from this heat...sometimes it has been wonderful but at other times the humidity only makes it wonderful when you know you have some cool air somewhere.  Think I'm hearing some thunder in the distance...they forecast thunder showers this afternoon, but nothing.  So maybe tonight. There is a nice light breeze and I'm enjoying the deck with my three 'cat' boys while my other little boy went right to sleep at 7:45.

Matteo seems to be adjusting well to his new room and new caregivers though he was already familiar with them as the way they work in the daycare is very much focused on everyone knowing all the children so they will feel safe with them.  The room is a newer room and has stations much like a classroom might...it is more focused on a very active day and even has its own little bathroom as many of the senior toddlers are in various stages of toilet training.  And speaking of toilet training...well Matteo has been teaching himself and continues to be successful with using the toilet and potty. On Sunday we had the first full dry diaper day and that was great. I credit three things...Matteo's personality, following mommy to the toilet from day one...not sure if this is a single parent thing, but really.....and then his daycare has been great with their process with actually seating each child on the potty during diaper changing...so when they told me Matteo was already starting to pee, that was our sign. Of course he is still waking up with a wet diaper, not as wet, but I was told to expect some regression this week as he is transitioning, so won't expect much but did really well when he came home.  Even on our fabulous weekend in Kingston and Toronto, Matteo did great with telling me he needed "pee potty" though one time we were no where near a potty.... On the down side I think he is starting the use the "pee potty" as a kind of distraction when he wants me to focus on something else...especially if he is being reprimanded for something or other.....but this has only happened a few times and I always, if we can, follow through with believing him and trying to encourage him to tell mommy the truth....  and yes I think even at this age, Matteo knows what truth means....will save that story for another blog...as I am writing more than I planned here.

Anyhow just wanted to say a few words about adoption #2...not that we have heard anything more, and not sure that I can trust my feelings on this, as I know with Matteo there were many false starts....so all to say that I am feeling very positive about a sibling for Matteo, again, not that I have been told anything other than we are on a very short list.  But somehow it is feeling very positive and I find myself including a new child in my conversations with Matteo, with how I am looking at Matteo's room, not giving away any more of his clothes, and just generally feeling like I am trying to prepare now, even though noone has given me any kind of timeline.  And even though things may change to negative very quickly.....however I do know that special needs children are available to be adopted and there are many. In the recent agency newsletter, D explained how the numbers of special needs adoption placed in a country will have a direct affect on those in the regular stream...so they continue to place and /or try to get families to consider this stream. I was surprised to read how many special needs adoptions have taken place as it seems to have been quiet, but quiet only in thate we were not aware of them...but now as I have mentioned...there are two families who have just adopted from Vung tau, and both were special needs, and both families may be coming home soon....so those adoptions have happened and maybe that is why I have been feeling very positive. 

I know waiting for a second child can be just as hard as the first, but so far, it has not been difficult and I'm sure that's also because there is already one here, and Matteo's life is changing so much that I am trying not to miss anything....his sense of humour is just precious, his vocabulary is building daily and he continues to learn new things. He can still be so so so very stubborn with wanting what he wants when he wants it..and we are working with that, and he definitely loves the car for short trips but we had challenges on our longer drive on our trip, despite the car seat being forward facing.  He still loves books and is now bringing me other books to read, and not only Caillou and Thomas books. He loves puzzles and each day when he comes home from daycare I have a puzzle waiting for us.  He loves the 'kitty kats' and is still working on the names of two of them but has mastered one and each morning greets him with 'good moning beecheee'.....so we're doing okay and waiting but not waiting at the same time....I think more like preparing, even if only in our heads and hearts.

Updated Homestudy is being sent...

...today by courier from the agency to the Ministry of Children and Youth Services who is responsibile for assessing and approving the application to adopt.  Turn around may be about 4-6 weeks. Keeping my fingers crossed and saying  a little prayer.

TDH Newsletter. Volume 4, Issue 2. July 2012

The latest TDH Newsletter has just been posted. To access it, click here. 

Zeke and Matteo 19 months later.

This photo of Zeke and Matteo as well as these were taken in HCMC on December 5, 2010, the day before we left Vietnam. Zeke's mom and  I had our Giving and Receiving Ceremony on the same day.  Both little boys were from Vungtau 1.



This photo was taken on July 7, 2012 in Toronto. Matteo was trying to explore the park on his own and Zeke's mommy asked him to take Matteo by the hand and bring him back and he did!  Such a sweety!!

19 months ago and today.....

Here we are in Vungtau in Nov/Dec. 2010

Here we are in Toronto in July 2012

and most importantly, here are our boys!!  Zeke, Galen and Matteo. (photo credits to Mario and Georgina.)

Second year anniversary of Matteo's referral!

I still can't believe two years have gone by but for sure a lot has happened...this morning when we arrived at Matteo's daycare after our road trip we were all in a good mood and Matteo's caregiver then shared the news that on the 17th Matteo will be moving up to the senior toddler room, both because of his age and because he is ready to do more!!...I was both happy and then sad....my little boy whose referral photo two years ago showed a little baby, is now going to be a senior toddler!  Yes time is precious and it sure goes fast.  To read about how the referral happened two years ago click here, here and here!
  Tonight we plan to celebrate with a dip in our neighbourhood pool because Matteo now loves water. On the weekend we visited with both families who also adopted little boys at the same time and enjoyed some time in a wadding pool....wonderful photos to be added to the next blogs of before and now!!...Such special moments to be together again and some special wishes that our friendships and that of our boys continue to grow and be nurtured!.  For now here's photo proof that need no words.  Thank you for the wonderful photos Georgina and Mario.

Homestudy update is signed and.....

....will be on its way tomorrow to the agency with the second payment!! What a relief!!....Once the agency  receives it, hopefully on Friday, or Monday, they will process and submit to the Ministry of Youth and Children's services....  I think that process may take 8 weeks or so for them to approve it.  In the meantime I believe the agency will have the homestudy translated and once they receive the Ministry approval my file will be logged in at the agency and then it will be sent to Vietnam where it will also be registered.  As I mentioned in a previous post, my sw has approved me for 4 minor correctible special needs.  I found out that one of those special needs has a very short short list...not sure of the others, but my sw ranked them, so that is the one on top....so if it all works out, then we're hoping some good news will come our way within a year of submitting to Vietnam!! 

  Matteo was with me when we went to the sw's office and he was in such a good mood! It was so great that while I explained to him what we were doing there, of course he doesn't understand...but one day I can tell him that he participated in the process.  He was very comfortable with the sw too, so that was nice to see!!

  I think he was also excited that we are heading out on our road trip tomorrow and ever since I switched his car seat to forward facing (height wise it was becoming necessary) ...he has been so giddy in the car and loving that he can see me.  For the past few months every time we had to go in the car he would start with his refrain..."mamma no car, no car mamma, mamma no car...mamma"...on and on until he was strapped in and I'm sure it was because he was all scrunched up with his feet as he is getting tall!...This will be our first road trip together...and I'll see how he manages for a longer trip/drive....

...For now, just feeling glad the homestudy update for Adoption #2 is signed and will be on its way. I had hoped we could meet an end of May deadline to get it to the agency, but some delays on both parts got us to early July. I guess on some level the other coincidence is that July 9 will mark the two year anniversary of getting Matteo's referral so the timing here again is interesting. A sibling is as much for Matteo as she/he is for me!!

...For now I have once again been thinking of Lucy. She has taken another negative turn with her health after having made some miraculous strides in healing....but she is not doing well and her family is getting conflicting reports.  Again I cannot imagine what the parents are going through....They have asked for prayers and that is what I am sending!...

 

So so exciting....!!!

Two families are in Vungtau at the same orphanage which was Matteo's second home and they are posting daily information about their visits to visit their children.  They both announced that the G&R ceremonies will be taking place on Friday, if all goes well, and it will be at that point that they can post photos...needless to say...it feels as if we were just there, and the lovely memories of November 2010 are keeping me company these days!!...So fitting that we should be visiting soon with the families who were there with us.  I love coincidences like these....

If you'd like to follow along click here for the family from BC adopting a little boy and click here for the family from Ontario adopting a little girl.

Amazing weather, great long weekend...more holidays around the corner...

The weekend as everyone would agree went by too quickly! yet we have had such amazing weather which is continuing today.  Matteo and I had a great weekend, we enjoyed having company for barbecue on Friday to kick off the weekend and then being invited to a Canada day dinner to round it out.  Yesterday we enjoyed a long walk and some park time. Matteo is definitely a climber. This morning I did hear from the sw and she thinks we should be able to wrap up the update before we leave on a mini vacation later in the week....so that was good news. It would be nice to have it submitted so that it is one more thing to enjoy on the trip.  We are heading out first to visit a former student of mine who is now my friend, and then to Toronto to visit an exhibit that I had a small part in researching and preparing, and then to visit with one of the families, hoping two, that we travelled with. All three families adopted little boys who are close in age. Will be a great reunion!!....I'm so looking forward to it.

Culture Camp-Catalyst Foundation

Already thinking of doing this next year. B. and B. are heading there this coming weekend and looking forward to hearing what they did and thought of it. The Catalyst Foundation seems like an amazing organization and I am hoping to learn more about it!