Like many others....

I have been following Lucy's life which has taken the saddest turn in recent days.  Like many others, I do not know that family nor will we likely ever meet but this child, any child, whose life is cut short, is always a tragedy.  This story, this family, continues to reinforce for me how our children really don't belong to us. We open our hearts and homes, love them, nurture them, laugh with them, do our best to raise them, but in the end they belong to God and He alone will decide when they come into our life, how, and for how long.  This child's life has helped me to know that opening our life to another child is a good thing to do, but not only good, but also right. I pray for Lucy's family in the days ahead and especially after when they will want so much to have her with them. I pray God carries them and pray that God carries Lucy gently and peacefully into His arms, if it be His will.

Choo choo!!

 

Enjoying some birthday springrolls.

When we were singing Happy Birthday he started to push the cake away!

Blowing out his birthday candles with a little help from mommy!

Celebrating....

Chúc mừng sinh nhật, Buon Compleanno, Happy Birthday!!

Some highlights of the last few weeks before turning two!!!

I love you Teo more than words can ever say! Happy Happy Birthday!



Paperwork update...days away from birthday and new name celebrations....

Matteo's name change documents

SIN - done
Health card - done
Passport - done
Will - already had both names included - done
RESP - done
Revenue Canada - done
Citizenship  - application ready to be mailed - 6 month turnaround


Adoption #2 update on Homestudy progress

Completed list:
Contracts  for agency and Vietnam - done
Four Passport photos for agency - done
Two copies of passport - done
Letters of reference - done (guardianship, personal, employment, daycare).
Employment Reference Letter to agency - done
Financial documents (2 sets Vietnam and Ontario) - done
Other adoption documents - done
Police check and Occurence report - done
Home Safety check form - done

Still on the list:
Final Home visit to review Safety check - still to be done
Medicals - (2 sets Vietnam and Ontario)- to be done
Citizenship Part 1 - application ready, waiting to notarize documents and will be sent with Matteo's name change.
2nd payment to agency - to be sent when Homestudy is submitted to agency.

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Well after making these lists, now I know why I am so tired these days!!!...I am looking forward to a summer without paperwork and instead a summer of trying to enjoy some down time.....In additon to the paperwork, I have been trying to ask Matteo if he wants a brother or sister....I reference Caillou and his baby sister Rosie...last night for the first time in his baby talk Matteo said he wanted a  brawt......and nodded "no" when I asked him if he wanted a sister like Rosie...so we'll see if his answer changes or not. I will continue to ask and always see if he understands...he is a smart little boy, so does seem to pick up things very quickly, but not sure he really understands what I am talking about....

  Birthday plans are underway but we will also be celebrating his name change too...so it will be a small gathering at our home.  As I believe I may have mentioned on this blog...though not sure I did, birthdays in our family were always low key, and I plan to continue that with Matteo. I hope, as even his birthdate, might not be as accurate as we might think, don't want to invest it with a lot of power. Would rather celebrate other markers of his life, like the name change, like graduating from kindergarten. The birthday will be special but in a quiet way...of course at some point the birthday will also be a very painful time for Matteo maybe?....so, at this point, can't see me organizing parties of lots of kids who eat too much suger and then are bouncing off the walls for their parents.. That is my plan, but of course Matteo will have a say in it too.....don't want him to feel left out, but I also think there is  too much commercialization around birthday parties for children and hope to instill a deeper sense of who he is beyond this one date and one event....so this year while my little boy will officially be two on May 30, I feel he has already been two with his behaviour.

He is so demanding , has always been, and continues to be so curious about everything.  I love this about him, but also find it very challenging at times...of course as noted at the beginning of this blog, I have been tired because there are lots of extra things I am planning and working on, so time is limited to just relax.... anyhow on Victoria day we met up with other moms from our SPA (Single parents adopting) group at Brewer park...a great park for children. We got there at about 10:30 and it was already filled with lots of families.  It was great to talk, even briefly to other moms, some who shared similar feelings about the challenges of our children.  Matteo had a great time, and so did I, and while we left with Matteo crying...overtired, too much sun, after Matteo's nap, we continued to have a great rest of the day as well.  I will post some pictures of the last little while...Will probably do that in the next post.

Additionally I have been enjoying another single parent E. who is off in her future child's country and enjoying a different kind of adoption journey. I am priviledged to receive her personal updates as well as read and see photos on her blog.  It has allowed memories to resurface about my journey to Matteo and also allowed me to get excited about the new possibility of adding to our family (though at times when I am thouroughly exhausted and lack any more patience with Matteo I wonder if we should add to our family)....but I know I want another child and when I allow myself to dream, it is always a dream of having a sibling for Matteo nomatter what and how much work it will be for me.  This is about me, but it is especially about him.  While I know I will have no control over his getting along with a sibling, I know that that will be up to them...my role is in trying to continue preparing our home for Matteo's future, and trusting that if it is God's will then our family will have enough love to embrace and make room for another child.

ngày của mẹ hạnh phúc ... Happy Mother's day to Matteo's Birth Mother...

I just posted this to my adoption agency's listserv and wanted to post it here as well.

 

At this time of year I always find myself thinking of my son's birthfamily and especially birth mother. Coincidentally in the past couple of weeks I was in touch with My Huong. Some of you may have met her if you adopted from Vung Tau as she works there. I have her permission to share these two links telling her story (though they are both public links). ....I found both very moving and wanted to share them.

So Happy Mother's day to all the adoptive mothers in the group and Happy Mother's day to all the birth mothers whose challenging decisions gave many of us the gift and the opportunity to be mothers.

Francesca and Matteo

 The Lost Children Feature Report

MyHuongLeBirthMotherFound

Daycare bugs and stuff...

Well it is so hard when little ones are sick....ever since Matteo started daycare, one illness or another has hit him..., he also fell and hit his head and also got his first bite on the arm by a little girl no doubt.....the most recent illness had them calling me from daycare to pick him up.  He was definitely not himself...my little one who has all the caregivers commenting on what a great eater he is, asking for 2nd, 3rd and sometimes 4th helpings....well he didn't want to eat at all and didn't want to play and then another symptom appeared that had them decide to call...

 Later that night in addition to other symptoms he developed a fever and then those darn hives came back yet again...not as big as they were the first time, but it seems that when Matteo gets a fever his little body now produces this extra defence...needless to say he scratched up his little body pretty much while trying to deal with the itchiness...calomine lotion helped only after I knew about them....benadryl in the morning helped get us through yesterday but had already given him advil for the fever when he went to bed, so didn't want to also give him anything else....anyhow I usually get a version of what he has and do definitely feel under the weather a bit. Today was such a beautiful sunny day and for most of it we spent it snuggled on the couch watching Caillou, (there is another post I want to write about Matteo's fascination with 'daddy' ...so want to see how other single parents, in this case, single moms deal with that, the absent father...) but that is another day...so today snuggled on the couch, watching television or looking at books, or sleeping....

Yes I know, he is building a stronger immune system...but so hard to see how his personality changes when he's sick.