When I started the adoption journey in 2005, initially with research etc...through twists and turns in 2006 was almost about to go with China special needs waiting children with cleft palette ...and then discovered that Vietnam had opened up (it had closed for various reasons) and my agency who was originally not working with Ontario, had just opened an office here. Through other twists and turns, had I gone ahead with the adoption at that time, the turn around might have been about 3-6 months as there were very few who knew about this change in the agency and that their relationship with Vietnam was recognized (and of course that was, if I recollect, when things changed in China, closing to singles, and making all kinds of requirements from parents, so the Vietnam program was flooded ).....so instead when I did finally go forward it was to be November of 2010 when I finally became a mommy to my beautiful son Matteo.
Now about a year a half later I am sort of coming back to trying to adopt a special needs child and of course the challenge is what is considered a "minor correctible special need" that I, as a single mom to one child already, can deal with. The adoption process is so hard as everyone knows especially where you have no control over getting approved for what you want and instead you have to convince a social worker who then has to convince the ministry who then has to rely on the agency's relationship with the country and their trust that this parent will take care of the needs of this child.....and of course what is special needs in one country, may not be special needs in another, hence why the suggestion is to list it as "minor correctible special needs"....though that doesn't necessarily solve anything. The reality is we have a pretty good medical system here, not to say that the one in Vietnam is not good, but the finances are different...ours is a national health care system with of course provincial support...so once my child is a Canadian citizen she/he will have access through surgeries that may be expensive but they will be covered.....
....so all this to say....we are so close to finalizing the update but my social worker is suggesting we should or I should think about and research and if possible speak with others who have been dealing with certain special needs... etc. to see what the experience has been....and of course to see if it is something that I can take care of. The reality is there are no guarantees with any of the children we adopt or for that matter any biological child as well. I hope that as a parent whatever needs my children have I can continue to advocate for them in all areas, and in this case it may be medical.
While I can appreciate that research and understanding and knowledge can dymystify the process, I'm not sure it will help me to really prepare in advance the psychological and emotional dimensions of seeing your child who you love, be sick, suffering or in pain....Lucy's story is a testament to that...I recall the post where her mom told us when Lucy was first diagnosed titled "In the blink of an eye." Things changed dramatically for Lucy's family, yet the doctors, the parents, family and friends, were there to support Lucy and her family and contnue to be.
so again all this to say, we do what we have to do what we can to prepare and I know I need to trust in myself absolutely that whatever the needs of my next child, should I be given this gift, I will do whatever I can and whatever it takes to make sure her/his medical needs are also taken care of...
...if it was up to me, when I adopted Matteo I would have taken all the children home with me if I could regardless of knowing anything about them....I just wanted them to have a home.
So now I will try to research and prepare myself for the following "minor correctible special needs" that I have listed and that are some of the needs of children in Vietnam....If anyone has any additional information on other special needs that you are dealing with and that you think a single mommie with one child already can handle, please feel free to contact me and I would appreciate your help or advice.
For now...
HIV antibody positive, PCR negative (at birth, where a child has the mother's antibodies it is normal to test positive, however this specialized test taken one month later can show if the antibodies are still there...if it is negative, then the child is retested when they are 18months old and there is a 99% chance that the child does not have the HIV antibodies. The child is considered special needs because of the 1% and the fact that time needs to pass in order for the test to be readministered when the child is older.
Heart issues such as ASD, Atrial septal defect...babies born with a genetic heart defect that is correctible through surgery if it doesn't close on its own, which it sometimes does, but again time will tell.
Strabismus...a lazy eye....surgery can correct this...
Syndactyl etc...fingers fused together, webbing, missing finger, extra finger...again surgery can correct these...
The special needs that some consider minor and others major are
Cleft palette
Club foot
When I researched this in the China program it was considered a minor need, however now, because it can require multiple surgeries at different times, over time....it is considered major by some?
And Club foot, requiring more and constant attention etc....
So again, if you have others that you have encountered and/or have anything to add on this list, I hope to hear from you.
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