TDH Ontario Spring 2014 Newsletter

Find it here…...http://tdhontario.tdh.ca/downloads/newsletter_may_2014.pdf

At preschool today….

Matteo announced to his caregivers and classmates, "Me and mommy are going to Vietnam to get my baby."…..now we have not had any news but his caregiver said it came out of the blue.  Now I have been showing him the occasional photo of L's family in Vietnam, so maybe he is projecting. But at times things come out of his mouth that amaze me.

For now, hoping he's got an inside connection to the maker of the universe and that we indeed will be heading to Vietnam to get our baby sooner than later.

  For now, it has been a stressful few days, but also days filled with gratitude, where I definitely feel we are being looked after.  Yesterday, Monday, while trying to deliver some documents to the school board for Matteo's aftercare program in September, I was sitting in traffic at a stop light with cars in front and behind me.  All of a sudden I was hit from behind and then I hit the car in front of me. The young man behind admitted that his foot slipped off the brake and he hit the gas and was too close to me.  His airbag deployed, mine didn't.  Today I'm dealing with pain etc. but also still grateful that it wasn't worse.  This little traffic event followed on the heels of another stressful event. I'll repost my status update message on Facebook for Mother's day and it will explain it all.

    "Feeling very grateful this mother's day! For my son and his birth mom who made a difficult choice so I could mother a little one. So grateful for the firemen and my neighbour who tried to find my cats while battling a fire next door…and then using a fan to get the smoke out so they'd be okay. My cats are fine and no fire in my home. Grateful to the Salvation army and red cross (some volunteers) and police who came out to help neighbours and their pets who are without homes today. Grateful to caregivers who take the time to help little ones make special gifts for moms on this special day. Grateful to sisters who invite us to barbecues and tell us just to bring ourselves. Life is precious. In a few moments, in one event, in one decision, life can change, and the ripples can bring challenges or joys into each of our lives. Feeling grateful for that too."

Matteo's Adoption Memory Book

Well it is finally done…this is actually the second published book, the first one was about 100 pages, this one about 182….I added more pictures from the orphanage, more text and it begins with the first time I held Matteo to some photos at the airport arriving home in Ottawa.

   The two other books are still in process…still trying to convert the blog from the wait to the time of referral and then to travelling to adopt…it is taking longer as I am editing out certain blog posts in order to just frame the wait and time to and in Vietnam.  However am still having trouble with deciding where to begin and where to end….  The third book is the more personal birth story book and family book and that one is still in the thinking/idea stage. I have the special book and special paper but so far, no other progress.

  Then there's the other book…I have a publisher interested in my dissertation; however, it needs to be revised in order for them to fully consider whether they will go forward with the project. I have finally set a schedule and chapter one is due next week!!  I'm behind on it too!!

 …all of these projects were and are a distraction from adoption #2…and of course not to mention, being mother to one little active and mischievous and full of humour and song and at times a screamer with challenging behaviour…and not to mention having a full time job….

….and of course still no news on the adoption front, though it seems to get harder and harder each day with no news. I was really hoping by this year to have a new love in our lives, but fate, destiny, has its own time and place.  Matteo asks for a sister almost daily.  Have realized part of his asking is that at his daycare many of the little ones in his program all have siblings and/or their families have welcomed a second child within this last year.  He sees them all the time and the siblings talk about their brothers and sisters too.  So of course every time he asks about this, I try to tell him that if we are meant to have a sibling then it will happen…..and we pray to God too.  Meanwhile I do find myself nesting. Making lists of what I will need and reviewing how I prepared for Matteo's referral.

….we've been following a family who just went to adopt their second little girl…they've had a rough few days of a little one grieving and the family holding on hour by hour…its been as if I was holding my breath for them too….I've had tough days at school…May is a hard month in high school for students, summatives to prepare for, course work to finish and exams to study for…sometimes the stress fuels very bad choices and behaviour…at times my day blurs such that I'm not sure if I dealing with my almost 4 year old son or my 16 year old students…today the family posted that things seem to have turned a corner and the little one is eating and smiling a bit….such a joy to read….and students were more focused today and even Matteo cooperated too…as soon as he saw me at daycare he ran to me to tell me we had to go inside to get a special surprise for me…a beautiful card he made with his hand print and some lovely tissue paper flowers and a couple of rice crispy squares with smarties on top……there were two….he kept telling me he loves me all the way to his locker bin…..such a sweety pie!!…though of course he has his eye on one of those rice crispy squares and especially those smarties.

     Tomorrow I will be attending the funeral service for my friend's mother who was in her 100th year of life and sadly passed away a few weeks ago.  It was a blessed life for sure and I am sure that during the service, while I will be there to support my friend, I will also be thinking of my mother who died 9 years ago.  I will also be thinking of Matteo's birth mother too and will say a prayer for her too.  In life loss seems to always be intertwined with joy.

  Afterwards I will be with my sisters as we will have a mother's day barbecue together…..so for now my family is at peace…….and all is mostly well with the world.

 …So while I am trying to relax on this Friday night just before this special Mother's day weekend I thought I'd share some of the thoughts that have been swirling through my head during a very busy time while also sharing some highlights from Matteo's adoption memory book.

hạnh phúc Phục sinh, Happy Easter, Buona Pasqua

Waiting….

Well I had a strange week….this hasn't happened since 2010 when things started to move towards a possible referral…in other words, checking my email many many times a day, calling home to see if I have any phone messages….looking for signs everywhere and anywhere that I will hear about a new child who is meant to join our family….but so far nothing!!  so so hard to wait and harder with the expectation of thinking I'll hear soon!!…so for now, still trying to keep busy, do have lots to do…midterm marks, professional development days, and Easter…though of course I wanted to hear before Easter…I wanted to hear before NOW!! but I know in this journey, the timing is perfect but is out of my hands and beyond my choice and control and though I know, from my experience with Matteo, that after it happens it will all seem so right, but for now I want it to happen NOW!!!

okay just had to get that off my chest!!

hope everyone has a great weekend….my plan is to get the deck ready for lots of spring sitting….because finally finally we're supposed to get some spring like weather!!  in honour of this weekend and the warmer weather, we decided to start our weekend with some ice-cream from an ice-cream place we've been wanting to try out.

So Bunny says, it was an ear infection after all!….

When Matteo woke up this morning with a fever yet again, and complaining about his ear, I really could not accept that he didn't have an ear infection. We went to the clinic on Wednesday night and other than lots of wax in his ear, the doctor couldn't see any redness. This morning I tried to very gently remove some of the wax that was at the outside edge of his ear cancel with a cue tip…..yes yes, I know we're not to use those on children, and I really only touched the inner edge gently trying to see if I could coax some wax out..and when I took the cue tip out it was a little bit pink!!….so after a conversation with a tele-health nurse, off we went tot he clinic again.

….and we were about to leave the clinic a second time without an ear infection diagnosis…she did notice that the lymph nodes were swollen Matteo's left side, same as the ear, and that side of his body always registered higher on the thermometer,  and when I insisted the doctor look at the inner canal where the pink was from she looked and realized it was very red….the inner ear was fine, but as she moved the wax and took a second look not way inside, but the canal area, behind the wax, it was red…..so finally, and for the first time, Matteo is on antibiotics….and after two doses, no fever tonight for the first time in 4 days.

…So all this to say, a mother's instincts, and a little boy who knows what hurts and what doesn't and sometimes some calm insistence with doctors in clinics, and finally we get to the right diagnosis!

…So that was the first great news today, and the second was that the bunnies have arrived at the local pet stores all ready for Easter deliveries…..and they sure have cute ears too.

"It's hard work being a mommy."

These were Matteo's words to me tonight while I was dressing him after his bath and he was shivering more than his usual because his fever was up again…..We were home again today and Matteo started his 2.5 day with a fever, not a high fever, but still, this is the longest.

He had lots of energy today for the most part except when his fever started to creep back.  I am so tired of winter. I have been sick off and on now since before Tet when we had to postpone our Tet party. Last week I was home on doctor's orders and today Matteo was home. My sister generously took care of him Wednesday afternoon and yesterday as it was a busy time at work and parent teacher night so hard to book off…but today, my little one needed lots of cuddles, snuggles, television watching, and reading.  It was so sweet of him to somehow realize how much work it was to be taking care of him. It isn't work of course, it is love.  However he is so sensitive and it was so sweet for him to acknowledge how he was being cared for. 

 He is fast asleep and I'm praying that his fever breaks.   That I finally get rid of this flu/cold/asthma/bronchitis, whatever it is!!….and so want the sunshine of Spring to finally bathe us in some of its healing power.  We so need it in our home!

Matteo wearing mommy's hat on a healthier day!