Wednesday, December 24, 2014
Friday, December 19, 2014
….Christmas holidays have begun...
Well, today was the last day of work and teaching for 2014. Matteo had his last day too and we are relaxing and starting the holiday with a lazy evening at home!!
We are hoping for a quiet Christmas and I have some marking to do but have managed to get caught up somewhat so will not stress and feel behind which is my usual. I am looking forward to a few afternoon naps!!
The last few weeks have had good and bad moments. We continue to grieve a little boy who we only knew through our hearts and continue to look forward by keeping our hearts open to another child if that is meant to be. Waiting is awful and after our experience, I am definitely feeling even more vulnerable.
For now we have decided to end the year on a more positive note. 2014 saw two losses in our lives, our beloved cat Micio and a little boy who we grew to love and then could not adopt and then who lost his own short life. This year, as life does, did not turn out as we hoped so we made a decision to bring some life into our lives. I had promised Matteo that after the adoption, we would look into a new kitten. I thought this would be a plan for next summer, but instead felt led to start looking at kitten sites and low an behold we brought these two lovelies home.
We have named them Bianca on the left (meaning white in Italian) and Trang on the right (meaning white in Vietnamese). They are about 3 months old and we will be spending part of our holidays integrating them into our home and with our other cats. We were only looking for one kitten, but how could I separate them? Could you!
Matteo is of course having a lot of fun with them and I'm grateful for that though of course did not plan for this additional kitten. I'm trusting it all will work out.
For now I'm also hoping to catch up on a few blogs that were started and never finished!!
So for now we're sending special prayers to God and also praying that each and everyone of you also has a wonderful, peaceful and restful Merry Christmas.
We are hoping for a quiet Christmas and I have some marking to do but have managed to get caught up somewhat so will not stress and feel behind which is my usual. I am looking forward to a few afternoon naps!!
The last few weeks have had good and bad moments. We continue to grieve a little boy who we only knew through our hearts and continue to look forward by keeping our hearts open to another child if that is meant to be. Waiting is awful and after our experience, I am definitely feeling even more vulnerable.
For now we have decided to end the year on a more positive note. 2014 saw two losses in our lives, our beloved cat Micio and a little boy who we grew to love and then could not adopt and then who lost his own short life. This year, as life does, did not turn out as we hoped so we made a decision to bring some life into our lives. I had promised Matteo that after the adoption, we would look into a new kitten. I thought this would be a plan for next summer, but instead felt led to start looking at kitten sites and low an behold we brought these two lovelies home.
We have named them Bianca on the left (meaning white in Italian) and Trang on the right (meaning white in Vietnamese). They are about 3 months old and we will be spending part of our holidays integrating them into our home and with our other cats. We were only looking for one kitten, but how could I separate them? Could you!
Matteo is of course having a lot of fun with them and I'm grateful for that though of course did not plan for this additional kitten. I'm trusting it all will work out.
For now I'm also hoping to catch up on a few blogs that were started and never finished!!
So for now we're sending special prayers to God and also praying that each and everyone of you also has a wonderful, peaceful and restful Merry Christmas.
Saturday, November 22, 2014
Four years ago today….
…life as I new it, changed forever….link to those memories
I love you Matteo more than words can ever say!!!
I love you Matteo more than words can ever say!!!
Saturday, November 15, 2014
This is a really hard post to write….
…and I'm not sure if I'm going to post it, but if you're reading it, then I guess I did…
…I am feeling so angry, frustrated, confused, guilty, sad, and just plain awful, stomach in knots, about the news I received a couple of days ago…
…..as you know we were doing okay with the reality that we were not going to be able to move forward to adopt Malio/K, perhaps having turned a corner towards acceptance, trust and new hope. We were praying that a new family could be found who would be better able to handle his medical needs…
....Well I received a message that told me that little K had taken ill and while they tried to get him medical care at a larger hospital, it was too late and he passed away as the result of a major infection. I was totally shocked at this news, totally helpless, and now I grieve again!
I am sure they did the best they could under the circumstances, but I am so angry at this adoption process that takes forever and children who have to live in orphanages that do not get the personal love of a family sooner and then that family can help them through any health issues that may arise.
Something has to change, this process needs to change, children need loving homes sooner, adoptive parents need to love their children not from afar but close up, in their arms. And if God wills such an awful end then every child deserves to be embraced in the loving arms of his mother as he leaves this earth and not alone in a hospital without a forever family supporting them.
I feel helpless and so very sad. I continue to pray that Malio/K is at peace and not in pain any longer. I also continue to pray that I find understanding in all of this loss as I continue to love a little boy who had such a hard beginning and end in his short life, and who spiritually had become a part of our family (another son, a baby brother, a nephew, a cousin and a godchild) and especially our hearts for such a brief time.
I am so sorry Malio/K that I could not be there for you!
Goodbye Malio /K. We will always love you!!
Tạm biệt Malio/K. Chúng tôi sẽ luôn luôn yêu em !!
…I am feeling so angry, frustrated, confused, guilty, sad, and just plain awful, stomach in knots, about the news I received a couple of days ago…
…..as you know we were doing okay with the reality that we were not going to be able to move forward to adopt Malio/K, perhaps having turned a corner towards acceptance, trust and new hope. We were praying that a new family could be found who would be better able to handle his medical needs…
....Well I received a message that told me that little K had taken ill and while they tried to get him medical care at a larger hospital, it was too late and he passed away as the result of a major infection. I was totally shocked at this news, totally helpless, and now I grieve again!
I am sure they did the best they could under the circumstances, but I am so angry at this adoption process that takes forever and children who have to live in orphanages that do not get the personal love of a family sooner and then that family can help them through any health issues that may arise.
Something has to change, this process needs to change, children need loving homes sooner, adoptive parents need to love their children not from afar but close up, in their arms. And if God wills such an awful end then every child deserves to be embraced in the loving arms of his mother as he leaves this earth and not alone in a hospital without a forever family supporting them.
I feel helpless and so very sad. I continue to pray that Malio/K is at peace and not in pain any longer. I also continue to pray that I find understanding in all of this loss as I continue to love a little boy who had such a hard beginning and end in his short life, and who spiritually had become a part of our family (another son, a baby brother, a nephew, a cousin and a godchild) and especially our hearts for such a brief time.
I am so sorry Malio/K that I could not be there for you!
Goodbye Malio /K. We will always love you!!
Tạm biệt Malio/K. Chúng tôi sẽ luôn luôn yêu em !!
Sunday, November 9, 2014
First ever World Adoption Day!
On the occasion of the first ever World Adoption day, I thought I should get back to writing.
It has been a hard month, though we feel like we've turned a corner. Matteo seems to be more accepting of the situation and yesterday for the first time he kissed his hand and kissed K's picture (have not had the heart to take them all down) he used to do that all the time….Matteo hadn't really talked about him in a while, but when I asked him, he definitely understood that he would not be his little brother but understood that he could still love him….which is what I'm more accepting of too. The hardest parts of course have been worrying that a family would be found for him and then seeing all the preparations around here, from the new baby bottles, formula, all the clothes ready, etc etc…everything was pretty well ready at our end to accept a new baby and now there are reminders all around and of course there is guilt that we could not move forward…..yet for now we are more trusting that all happens for a reason and that we were not the right family for him and the right child for us is still out there…we are now back at the top of the list at our agency awaiting word of another referral, a boy or a girl, though we have no new timelines.
Today, during the first World Adoption Day we were hoping to do something special, but as Matteo has not been well and I'm/we are tired because of the lack of sleep with some night time challenges, we may laze around and watch Christmas movies and take it easy. Matteo wants to go to his favourite museum and we'll do that maybe next weekend!
For now adding some photos of some highlights of the past month. Halloween this year was celebrated though Matteo was willing to dress and go trick or treating, he did get scared at the haunted house his extended care program set up. He LOVED trick or treating and was so brave, especially at one house that was very ghoulish, but he was a real trouper climbing lots of stairs and never complaining once. He came home with a bag full of lots of treats and we only circled two blocks. Below you'll see his sweet kitten face, and mommy went to school too as a cat, as well as some preparations of our pumpkin and the booty after the trick or treating.
The last photo is the annual photo of the Vietnamese Saturday afternoon school program children. I'm not sure how much Matteo is learning yet, but very glad we were able to change classes and he is much happier and together we hope to learn some Vietnamese together in preparation for our hoped for trip to Vietnam to adopt once again!
It has been a hard month, though we feel like we've turned a corner. Matteo seems to be more accepting of the situation and yesterday for the first time he kissed his hand and kissed K's picture (have not had the heart to take them all down) he used to do that all the time….Matteo hadn't really talked about him in a while, but when I asked him, he definitely understood that he would not be his little brother but understood that he could still love him….which is what I'm more accepting of too. The hardest parts of course have been worrying that a family would be found for him and then seeing all the preparations around here, from the new baby bottles, formula, all the clothes ready, etc etc…everything was pretty well ready at our end to accept a new baby and now there are reminders all around and of course there is guilt that we could not move forward…..yet for now we are more trusting that all happens for a reason and that we were not the right family for him and the right child for us is still out there…we are now back at the top of the list at our agency awaiting word of another referral, a boy or a girl, though we have no new timelines.
Today, during the first World Adoption Day we were hoping to do something special, but as Matteo has not been well and I'm/we are tired because of the lack of sleep with some night time challenges, we may laze around and watch Christmas movies and take it easy. Matteo wants to go to his favourite museum and we'll do that maybe next weekend!
For now adding some photos of some highlights of the past month. Halloween this year was celebrated though Matteo was willing to dress and go trick or treating, he did get scared at the haunted house his extended care program set up. He LOVED trick or treating and was so brave, especially at one house that was very ghoulish, but he was a real trouper climbing lots of stairs and never complaining once. He came home with a bag full of lots of treats and we only circled two blocks. Below you'll see his sweet kitten face, and mommy went to school too as a cat, as well as some preparations of our pumpkin and the booty after the trick or treating.
The last photo is the annual photo of the Vietnamese Saturday afternoon school program children. I'm not sure how much Matteo is learning yet, but very glad we were able to change classes and he is much happier and together we hope to learn some Vietnamese together in preparation for our hoped for trip to Vietnam to adopt once again!
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