Matteo Bao, my beautiful son….

….and yet by far today was the toughest day with his behaviour and I think Mamma is part to blame….there have been some great moments of Matteo and Malia playing together and Matteo letting go of any of his fears that he will lose mommy and other moments and today, hours, where Matteo becomes extreme and almost even cruel with his behaviour towards us.  I have been trying to be generous with him and very flexible….we're on holidays so to speak too….but I think in this circumstance he needs a bit more structure than I've been giving him especially with the change….today (and even yesterday) but worse today, when I was trying to speak to another couple who also adopted, Matteo just couldn't do enough things to distract me…some of his behaviour was rude and disrespectful and he isn't those things under normal circumstances….but he was…..

….anyhow I've decided to start to give as much structure to his day as needed for him to feel more secure in this environment but also to help him transition back to getting ready for school….he needs an afternoon rest (we all do)…so when Malia naps he will have a quiet time in one of the other rooms (both of which are now his) though he is now sleeping again in the master bedroom with Malia in the crib and sharing the big bed with Mamma….(today Malia even chose her crib for her nap!) and we had a great sleep last night and Malia did not wake up even once…I heard some noises from her on a couple of occasions but she and all of us slept in until 7!!

…anyhow Matteo I hope will allow himself to accept his little sister who has much in common with him and is already showing she can stand up to him too!…but Matteo seems to fight it, almost as if he is trying hard to find reasons not to accept her??  and yet tonight when I asked him if he wanted us to brush our teeth together or if he wanted to do that later before his bedtime…he at first said he'd do it later and then said -- "we're a family so we should brush our teeth together like a family"….so these glimmers of loveliness, have only been glimmers, many time outs today and quiet times and tears and shouts surround the glimmers of loveliness….so for now in addition to finding out Malia's Canadian passport will be ready on Monday, I will hang on to these glimmers.

I think we all need a dose of home to help us get through the transition phase to the reality of living as a family of three!